2012-13 network dramas

From The Daily Beast slideshow listing all 38, I think, new shows, my hopes and dreams about the coming fall season, noting that my carryover network dramas are: Castle, Revenge, and Hart of Dixie. Only two shows really got canceled out from under me (Awake, which almost doesn’t count, and Prime Suspect), so it was sort of a good year?

Anyway, in order from most excited to least. Rough order.

  • Last Resort, ABC: Submarine ordered to nuke Pakistan. Refuses. Sub crew declares itself a sovereign nation by taking over a tropical island. It sounded cool right up until that last sentence. Still, Shawn Ryan has earned, sorta, the benefit of the doubt, and it’s got Andre Braugher and Dichen Lachman. Especially Andre Braugher. No, let me say it again. It’s got Andre Braugher.
  • Vegas, CBS: Nicholas Pileggi co-wrote it, Michael Chiklis is in the cast, and it’s about a ’60s Vegas sheriff. Hell yeah.
  • Nashville, ABC: Connie Britton as a country singer. SOLD.
  • Arrow, CW: As in Green Arrow. Hell yeah. And it’s by Greg Berlanti, so I’m kind of weirded out.
  • Cult, CW: It’s got a show within a show, a serial killer who might or might not be real, and a PA figures centrally, so why to make a star out of the downtrodden, CW. Plus I feel like a lot of people liked Farscape? And it’s by the Farscape guy, so that’s something.
  • Elementary, CBS: There’s really really really no reason to do Sherlock Holmes in modern day when we’ve already got Benedict Cumberbatch.
  • Red Widow, ABC: A soap about a widow taking over her husband’s role in a crime syndicate. It was a Dutch show, I guess, so maybe? But The Killing was also based on a successful European show from a country that starts with D. Although I guess Dutch shows don’t come from a country that starts with D, now that I think about it.
  • Golden Boy, CBS (mid-season): Ryan Philippe was going to be in this, but he’s not anymore, so I’m way less excited. It’s about a young cop who becomes a big hero, but the other cops want to bring him down. Greg Berlanti is involved, so it’s probably not some hard-ass drama. I don’t know, man.
  • The Following, Fox: It’s got Natalie Zea and Kevin Bacon, and there’s a serial killer, and Kevin Bacon is an alcoholic FBI agent, so that sounds pretty cool. Oh, but wait, the serial killer is using social media to build a following. Goddammit.
  • 666 Park Avenue, ABC: The apartment building is supernatural. Whatevs.
  • Mistresses, ABC: Four female friends all have affairs, I guess? This is one of those shows where you can’t tell anything about how it’s going to be until it exists. I’ve always been curious how writers pitch these shows. I mean, Last Resort, that’s easy. “DUDE. SUBMARINE. NUKES.” But this is like, “So I guess like some ladies will sit in their living rooms and talk about the dudes they’re boning?” I mean, look at the photo.
  • Hannibal, NBC: The show is really in the early stages given that it’s supposedly on the schedule, so who knows. It’s about Hannibal Lecter and a profiler, so I wouldn’t call myself 100% jazzed about it.
  • Do No Harm, NBC: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde updated. Intriguing idea, I suppose, but an inside source tells me that the pilot isn’t super impressive.
  • Made in Jersey, CBS: Street-smart female Jersey attorney in Manhattan, blah blah blah. Pablo Schreiber, though. I love that family.
  • Infamous, NBC: It’s kind of unbelievable how hard NBC is trying to rip off Revenge. I should refuse to watch this purely out of loyalty.
  • Beauty and the Beast, CW: Everyone who bet $1 that Beauty and the Beast would one day be remade and that it would be on the CW? You can collect your $0.01 winnings. But “their take revolves around a police detective who solves crimes with a genetically altered Afghanistan war veteran.” What.
  • The Mob Doctor, Fox: She’s secretly a doctor for the mob! It’s going to be hilarious when a show called THE MOB DOCTOR has a pilot where it’s a first-act twist that she’s a mob doctor. Watch. I bet you it happens. Watch. (Oh, but Zach Gilford is in this, so …)
  • Zero Hour, ABC: Remember how awesome every Giant Conspiracy show post Lost was? Remember? Right.
  • Revolution, NBC: Remember how awesome every Giant Conspiracy show post Lost was? Remember? Right. (This one has Giancarlo Esposito, though.)
  • Emily Owens, M.D., CW: What an awful title. Does it tell you anything about what the show is about? Apparently it’s just “working in a hospital is like being in high school.” Why are these shows never about the actual hospital workers, by the way? I’m sick of doctors. I want a show about the radiology techs and the maintenance people.
  • Chicago Fire, NBC: This is like a mashup of shows that were on ten years ago. The female fire-fighters are distractingly tiny (because they have to be TV hot), but the dudes look mad hunky. I have no idea what this is going to be about, but apparently the writers’ idea of a joke is having the elevator operator be named Otis. That’s a reach, bros. Oh yeah, It’s a Dickwolf show.
  • The Carrie Diaries, CW: GTFO.

About Jason Wojciechowski

I do law
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